It happens, but after a whole year of peaceful food plan it took me by surprise…again.
Life is made of continual adjustments. Visualize a ballet dancer performing on the rooftop of a moving train, will she/he succeed in providing a flawless performance? No. There are bound to be hiccups.
Well, that is just how I felt as I decided to ban fish from my plate. Never used in excess, nevertheless an important protein I was very fond of.
Being a vegan for twenty five years, I have tried in the past to eliminate all “living” foods but could not muster the needed energy to function on a daily basis so, fish became the exception.
Amidst this blissful quietude came the news (see my last post) shaking my now rooted sane habits of a happy normal life, questioning my profound beliefs in substantial foods.
Those are the vibrations I sensed in the soles of my feet, throwing me off balance and bringing skeletons out…the ones so far back in the closet, belonging to a forgotten past, dislocated from a happy present, so strange to my blessed moments, never dreaming it would ever come in to say Hi, how are you, long time no see…
There was no dread, just numbness. I could not recall the despair felt in the past which should have given me the strength to say…Never again! With all the force needed for mettle and slipped for a few days in a stupor classically brought on by overeating.
My answer as always was my pen, the vortex draining my mind from thoughts circumnavigating to no end and leafing through my long forgotten attempts at writing essays on the subject as a jolt to my dazed condition…awakening me to realization.
Through the reading I plunged into a world that did not belong to me anymore, I was scouring through the life of a stranger, the field was so unfamiliar I wondered how my followers took the time to read through the rambling desperation having the kindness to even comment and like .
At the time the confusion, the pain felt very real, the blog becoming my only instrument of relief, allowing me to publish my unpolished thoughts and accept it for what it was, silently begging forgiveness from my readers and gratefully accepting the generosity of their patience.
A place I would rather keep far away and swap for subjects of art close to my heart. Today.