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That one chance we have at living… (climbing the stairs of our life)


Climbing my way up... ©copyright2014owpp

Climbing my way up…
©copyright2014owpp

I always thought my happiness was dependent on a disciplined life and misery on a chaotic food plan.

I believed my behavior was the culprit of my inner-hell.

But a few weeks of frantic bingeing triggered off by some stone in the way of my life made me realize that yes, a clean organic measured food plan contributes to a clear mind, a certain level of stability, an awareness and ability of absorbing the NOW fully but it is not responsible for life and the realities surrounding it.
It does not answer for your reactions towards it and it is surely not the coordinator of your inner.

The inner is your sacred place, you are the only one owning it, it is the birthplace of bliss that you will help grow, the stillness that you will lovingly water and observe carefully as each leaf appears, each twig added, it is you that makes it happen, it is where it all begins…

As you nourish it, its heartbeat will get stronger, it will take all the place, pulsate and vibrate, let itself be cradled in the niche of your soul.

An amazing blogger http://soberidentity.com/ told me not too long ago “that whatever I do toward my food does not change my true self” which I understood to be my soul.

Its health is dependent on my choices, true (whether I nourish that bliss and stillness or not) but it will never change size 😉 nor betray me in any other way. It is intact, unblemished and most importantly it is and will always be what defines me.

True peace and happiness is WITHIN independent of exterior consequences. One can be a total living misery with complete abstinence. Mind-torture is a frame, a free lodger, a habit gone wrong, it is especially badly-wired energy. Our choices are to direct it.

The way is not simple but it is easy as long as we are determined to make a difference in this ONE chance we have at LIVING.

The pit. Sep. 2012 ( Oa essay )


©copyright2013owpp

©copyright2013owpp

Life is a journey…
The way for some, is long and arduous but the reward is so gratifying!

In Oa we are like newborns having to learn the first steps of good habits in order to delight in
the ” normal ” life others might take for granted.

I hope you enjoy this essay!

The pit
——–

It happened to me so fast. I was taken by surprise once again.

I am amazed at my gift of falling down the trap so many times and always reacting with the innocence and naivete of a newborn.

How many more of these tribulations do I need until I experience the Nirvana, the bliss of long-term abstinence?

Time and again, I had read about not letting ourselves go Hungry-Angry-Lonely-tired? Those are our red lights. Our warning signs. Yet, that’s exactly what I did, at the beginning of school year in September.

Having to wake up at 6 Am was a major adjustment after two months “holidays “.

It got me extremely tired and by the third day, there was no reasoning going on in my mind. I could not think rationally, give myself advice or take adequate measures.

I found myself as a sleep walker, going to the fridge, stretching out for some food, recollecting vaguely a distant short debate occurring in my numbed mind… “the” voice answering back about not having the energy to fight the urge.

There was no physical strength in me therefore no emotional one either to rationalize. The urge was so big, it just took over. It felt like the invasion of a tsunami. There was no way I was going to find a breach to squeeze myself in to make “it” see sense.

A huge force which I knew from the start who would be the victor.

I let it happen. Did not even feel the “ I ” letting it. I was void emotionally yet it was the “ I “ that wanted to have it, how does one explain that?

The only explanation I can come up with now is, that’s why it’s called “ the pit “ . We hit rock bottom and don’t have the natural resources to behave in a disciplined way. Thinking straight is the last thing possible. Hence, the warnings of H-A-L-T .

Then came the “ revelation “…

Suddenly it all made sense…

All I had to do in the future is, prevention rather than cure. When feeling those “ symptoms “ , look after it in order to prevent the chaos of its destruction once in motion.

It is that simple!

Yet again, not always easy. We tend to forget how dangerous some zones can be, and find ourselves repeating the same mistakes.
I can’t deny the fact that I have learned every time something new, but I wonder what makes me different from other O.A members who grasp at abstinence from the word go and don’t let go of it, aware of its priceless gift.

They take the highway where as I…

I browse, I feel, I hurt, I grunt, I marvel…

I learn.

I learn the hard way. I forget, then, a miracles happen.

I open my file of essays and fall on one article which becomes a new message to me all over again. I open the book “ A new beginning “ and feel it speaking directly to my soul. A million different occurrences which I call miracles.

I imagine it’s my higher power’s way of reminding me, he is there to assist me. To protect and embrace me in his powerful love.

But it is not all about me.

If anyone of you out there reading this article can identify with it, it would make it worthwhile.
If it helps anyone in the slightest way well, maybe, just maybe, taking the long way was not a bad
idea after all.

How do we clear our conditioned minds? 2012


That sparkle... ©copyright2013owpp

That sparkle…
©copyright2013owpp

Hi Everyone!

How do we clear our minds of given ideas?We know those ideas don’t suit us, yet we return to them in an automatic reflex.
I wish someone had the answer, meanwhile I settle with the saying ( If I remember it correctly ) ” repetition is the only form of consistency we can achieve “.
What came out of it nevertheless, was an article which I hope you’ll enjoy!

Our conditioned minds
———————–

” We come in for vanity, we continue for sanity, we stay for serenity ” . Another saying which is true, down to its last word. ( For anyone of you who have tried OA )
There’s only one slight problem there, we stay for years on the first sentence, before we realize it’s the last two, which are the glue to program.

They are the reason, people stick to meetings year in, year out, accepting the imperfections that come with the long journey we’ve embarked upon.
Our brains are so conditioned to think vainly, when our abstinence goes haywire, the first thing that comes to our mind is, ” I won’t fit into my jeans tomorrow! ”
But what about our thoughts, feelings, emotions, our view toward life, the world and the positivity that comes along with a serene abstinence, the sun that persistently manifests itself in the darkest of our wintry days?

THAT is actually the reason we stay on, paving our way, ( sometimes on hands and feet ) clearing the stones, which come along a new track. Or even an old one for that matter!
Our minds just need training. It needs getting into the habit of thinking sanely. knowing what truly matters. What is relevant in our lives right NOW. Is it the ” jeans ” or the sparkle, vitality, vigor, verve, zest, pep… So many synonyms yet all of them describe the exact way we feel on abstinence, and that’s the ONLY reason we’re still here.

Our psyche might still be on the old ” program ” by years of indoctrination and automatically goes to conceit but if we stop for a moment and ponder on why we stubbornly linger and try to carve for ourselves a little space in this amazing ” plan of action ” this very efficient ” project for the living ” we’d realize and conclude we’re in it for the ” core “.

For the soul it brings back to us.

Have a very good day!

Getting used to quality 2012 ( O.A Experience )


©copyright2013owpp

©copyright2013owpp

Hi everyone!

Do you know how usually you take a book and start at page one because that’s how it’s done, you follow the rules, but then, just once, tell yourself, what the heck I’ll start where I feel like starting and find yourself starting at the end. Then becoming so captivated by the writer’s style that you find yourself leafing the pages backwards?
Well, that’s what I felt like doing today.

I had in plan of presenting to you the first essay I had written, but then, today wanted to go with the feeling not the rule. Throwing all caution to the wind and giving you my last work which is of today called ” Getting used to quality “.

Getting used to quality
———————–

My longest abstinence, of not so late, lasted three months.
Three months of bliss, of being and feeling ” normal “. Those are times when one feels touched by the grace of our higher power ( or whatever you feel like calling it ).
We could be, day in day out, in the presence of all our binge foods, staring at us, yet, know in our mind and heart that it’s not ours.

We don’t do this anymore. We do life. We experience it happening and appreciate every moment as it comes, in all its blessings.
We have projects, plans, enthusiasm and go about realizing them as the natural flow of life.

We don’t feel heroic, just happy to BE. In its full sense.

No thunder or lightning, just tranquility and satisfaction of going  where the stream takes us.
So, logic would demand a continuation of what is good no?

Yet, we relapse over and over again. Nevertheless, relapse get fewer, shorter and abstinence longer as a consequence.
The wisdom collected along this arduous journey is priceless too.
We shouldn’t underestimate that. It becomes a powerful tool to help oneself and others in program.

But how I pray to get that motivation and zest for life back again!

How I long it to invade the empty space It had left on Its way out.

That’s probably part of the journey. The more we’re abstinent, the more we get use to GOOD in our life, the less we settle for mediocrity.

There’s awareness to quality versus quantity.

Quality becomes the essence. The truth. And we’d rather give up the quantity of food we’d stashed up in our body oblivious to the treasures laid at our feet.
The treasures of light in our life. That’s what we call quality today.

Thank you for taking time to read this.