Is it only up to us?

©copyright2014owpp

We are constantly being told that suffering is an essential component to self-growth, I beg to differ. I’d rather see suffering as optional.
Bingeing which used to be a source of grief, uncertainty & tremendous despair is today, to my latest discovery, part of a project, the germination of… a bit like a disheveled, disconnected & chaotic building-site that takes a turn for the better three quarters of the way, revealing the beauty of careful planning, the scrutiny of detail, the hard earned result of love… perfection & poetry in curves & colors.
Even though I’d rather sail on a pink cloud throughout I envision my “phase” as part of a scheme… a fraction of the perfection about to be.
What we can be sure about is that challenges are transitory & if we realize it is to take us to where the sun shines we might worry less on the way.
Trying to understand the bigger picture has loosened the knots & brought peace when least expected.
Bryant H. McGill says, “Abundance is a process of letting go. That which is empty can receive”.
Letting go of my food for me is the answer to inviting after many years of struggle, abundance & quality in my life.
The question is, when/will it happen & is it only up to me?
That remains to be seen…

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The reality of who we all are-1989 adjusted 19.4.2013

the runner
©copyright2013owpp

The reality of who we all are
————————————

Weary is the runner
Who tried it all.
Nothing that can wrench
A smile from her heart
Has she found

Look and search some more
To run away from
The confinement of her reign.
Spent to the bone
Society lifting her up to hegemony (1)

Weary is she, the runner
Who is a slave to her name
Starting off out of ardor
Never for the claim.
Loosing amity along the track

Collecting honorariums
Thrown at her as a redress
To satisfy her hunger
For fusion and empathy
What is given to the many

Oh! She does find it…
Between two laps of breath
Falling into the trap of poise
The opulence of comfort
The warmth of Kith & Kin

Only to be snatched back
To the constant drill.
Why me, does she ask
Were my choices a delusion
The erratum of my own doing (2)

Speculating she is the only
Stooge life has nominated
The quarry that has stumbled
On a boulder that was waft
On the path of earth

She vows to sleep on these
Wise discoveries with hope
Next day would bring
More reflection and ease
To the happy runner

She wants so much to embody
Still unaware of the cheers
And encouragement of peers
That have been forged by
That same mass hurled

At what became their biography
The journal of their gumption (3)
The teachings available on
The benches of what is solid
The reality of who we all are…

A runner.
———–

(1)
he•gem•o•ny
n. pl. he•gem•o•nies
The predominant influence, as of a state, region, or group, over another or others.

(2)
er•ra•tum
n. pl. er•ra•ta
An error in printing or writing, especially such an error noted in a list of corrections and bound into a book.
________________________________________
[Latin err tum, from neuter past participle of err re, to stray; see ers- in Indo-European roots.]

(3)
gump•tion
n. Informal
1. Boldness of enterprise; initiative or aggressiveness.
2. Guts; spunk.
3. Common sense.

Sobs from an abyss 1991 ( French poetry ” Le sanglot d’un abîme ” translated to English in post above )

candle tears
©copyright2013owpp

Sobs from an abyss
——————

I address a prayer
A murmur, my torment
Beyond the barriers
At the level of precipices

Listen for a moment
The fires of the violence ( inner-turmoil )
The rage of the helplessness
The pain of an instant

Erase the tears
Locked in my heart
Give me arms ( tools )
To protect my dwelling ( The inner-self )

Rock me in your strength
Your power, your ease
Alone, I do not see
The sparks of your steps

So,
I address to you a prayer
Beyond the borders
A whisper, a song
And hope in unison!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Désordre 2012 ( Original French text with translation in post below as “A cleaning frenzy-disorder” )

we hoard…
©copyright2013owpp

Désordre
——–

Ensemble
On commence
Sa vie.
Les enfants
Arrivent.
On amasse.
On s’entasse
Espérant
Trouver
Une pause
A travers
Une chose.
On s’enfonce
Dans l’amour
Et les couches
Sales.
Ignorant
Le chaos
Le désordre
De l’esprit
De l’âme
Par habitude
Par lassitude.

La douceur
Les câlins
Les bisous
Barbouillés
De purée.
L’insomnie
L’inquiétude
D’un cri
D’une jeune
Tête
Enfiévré
Sont nos
” Desserts ”
Parfumés
Du moment
De l’instant
De l’éternité
Imaginer

————–

Puis un jour
Le ” toujours ”
A prit
Une tournure.
Des adultes
Bien aviser
Vous donnent
La réplique
Vous explique
Vous implique
Dans leurs vies
Sophistiquer.
Vous vous appliquez
Et vous apprenez
Comme
Un bébé,
Des lois
Qui n’ont
Jamais
Existé.
Ils ont
Quitté
Le nid
Douillé,
Mais retournent,
Le temps compté
Pour être
Rassurer.

—————

Puis la torpeur
S’est dissipé.
Finalement
On ” voit ”
Leurs passé
Accumulé
Délaissé
Par des armoires
Bondés

—————

On remédie
Par des-ordres
Donner
A la tribu
Immobilisé
Dans un geste
De solidarité.
Les souvenirs
Dépliés
Dépoussiérer
Quelques larmes ( les miennes!)
Beaucoup d’amour.
Une conscience ( eux )
D’être arriver
A l’indépendance
A la vie

—————-

Et nous,
D’avoir
Donné
D’avoir
vécu
Et commencer
une vie
D’ordre
De sérénité
Et d’amasser
Entasser
La spiritualité
La gaieté
L’insouciance
La bonne
ambiance.
Les

VACANCES!!!

Getting used to quality 2012 ( O.A Experience )

©copyright2013owpp

Hi everyone!

Do you know how usually you take a book and start at page one because that’s how it’s done, you follow the rules, but then, just once, tell yourself, what the heck I’ll start where I feel like starting and find yourself starting at the end. Then becoming so captivated by the writer’s style that you find yourself leafing the pages backwards?
Well, that’s what I felt like doing today.

I had in plan of presenting to you the first essay I had written, but then, today wanted to go with the feeling not the rule. Throwing all caution to the wind and giving you my last work which is of today called ” Getting used to quality “.

Getting used to quality
———————–

My longest abstinence, of not so late, lasted three months.
Three months of bliss, of being and feeling ” normal “. Those are times when one feels touched by the grace of our higher power ( or whatever you feel like calling it ).
We could be, day in day out, in the presence of all our binge foods, staring at us, yet, know in our mind and heart that it’s not ours.

We don’t do this anymore. We do life. We experience it happening and appreciate every moment as it comes, in all its blessings.
We have projects, plans, enthusiasm and go about realizing them as the natural flow of life.

We don’t feel heroic, just happy to BE. In its full sense.

No thunder or lightning, just tranquility and satisfaction of going  where the stream takes us.
So, logic would demand a continuation of what is good no?

Yet, we relapse over and over again. Nevertheless, relapse get fewer, shorter and abstinence longer as a consequence.
The wisdom collected along this arduous journey is priceless too.
We shouldn’t underestimate that. It becomes a powerful tool to help oneself and others in program.

But how I pray to get that motivation and zest for life back again!

How I long it to invade the empty space It had left on Its way out.

That’s probably part of the journey. The more we’re abstinent, the more we get use to GOOD in our life, the less we settle for mediocrity.

There’s awareness to quality versus quantity.

Quality becomes the essence. The truth. And we’d rather give up the quantity of food we’d stashed up in our body oblivious to the treasures laid at our feet.
The treasures of light in our life. That’s what we call quality today.

Thank you for taking time to read this.