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A moment of clarity and revelation 2010


Detachment...

Detachment…

This essay was written a while ago, but I thought it might help others struggling, if it does, all the better!

Revelations
————-

After two full years of constant relapses, we can get desperate.
So, knowing it’s, this or nothing, we go back to O.A literature we’d given up in dejection, and as we read the
book ” Hope for today ” of O.A, we are struck by three words that keep recurring.

Detachment-Forgiveness-and-Emptiness

Detachment, seems, ( at least for the people who get too involved or entangled ) to be one of the keys to success
in abstinence.

Why?

Well, if we remove ourselves from situations and sometimes people, ( in a positive sense, meaning, right time, right
place ) we’d put less energy, taking to heart THEIR lives or situation and have more left ” to put our house in order ”

If we observe people who are detached, they might seem aloof or cold, but all they are doing is keeping their lives
much simpler than ours.

Forgiveness:
Asking for forgiveness is something we think everyone practices, when harming another.
We feel betrayed, hurt and trampled on, when apologies do not occur. We wait, for recognition of their acts. For
responsibility to be taken, as it’s usually done, after calmly reassessing a situation.

Years go by and we are still waiting… Wasting our time, and on occasion, using food as a temporary relief, when it suddenly dawns on us…

Forgiveness will never be asked for, but what stops us from going on with OUR lives? It doesn’t stop OUR forgiveness.

I quote:
Forgiveness is something I do with my H.P’s help and I do it for me. I don’t need anyone’s apology to begin my healing
process. ( Hope for today. page 274 )

We cannot absorb the meaning of those words all at once. Only later, does it hit us with it’s full impact.
All the hurt, had actually nothing to do with our getting on, living and being happy.

People can choose to stay stuck in THEIR place, but we can and will, live, in its true sense from now on.

Before, everything seemed, one big, muddled heap, but now, we can divide it in two parts. People asking for forgiveness and taking responsibility, is one part that belongs to them and our lives, is the second part that belongs to us.

Free, clean and pure.

Only with that realization are we clear to burst forth, with life, energy and joy.

Excess luggage

Excess luggage

Simplify our existence instead of wallowing in the past and wasting precious time. Only then, are we clean. After years of
dragging the muck of a dead past, we don’t have to own it. People have attitudes, which we were involuntary witnesses of,
WE don’t have to carry it.

That is forgiveness. Not bearing excessive luggage and forgiving ourselves for having done so until now. That’s the detachment needed too. Knowing what is ours and what is theirs.

Emptiness:
Emptiness is something everyone has to deal with, one time or another, but occasionally, there is a need to read about others
experiences to fully accept it. We don’t always imbibe the meaning of the term Emptiness and for some, it can be further from
their mind than the moon is to earth.

Emotions tend to dig themselves so deep in the psyche, we might have had a hard time excavating them, had we had the possibility
to do so. Filling the space, emptiness brings, with food, is never the solution, we just end up having to confront two predicaments.

So, here we are, on a holiday, a break or simply at home relaxing, where one has time to ” digest ” ideas we normally would happily
discard, clarity is given an opportunity and before we know it, we are awarded with a second chance to life. But… Sporadically,
our mind takes back old habits ( we never change that fast 🙂 ) and we wonder… Will that feeling last? That sense of elation, freedom
and joy? Will it leave its emblem guiding our ” vista ” or will we go back to our old resentments.

We do not have a clue.

All we can do is ” keep it simple ” live the moment fully, absorb the information and go on from there, to the place we really want to be.

A borough where serenity is king.

My pencil, my passion, my emotion 1987 ( Translation of French original text in post below as ” Mon crayon,ma passion…” )


my pencil

my pencil

My pencil
———

Line by line
It travels your face
Line by line
It recognizes your wakes

To start
It traces
To continue
It always searches

In the lesser details
It discovers
All the ” stitches ”
And, the door opens…

The stitches that were missing
Is the key needed
To open the door
Of your secret garden

My pencil
A miracle
Not an obstacle
But a passion

Passion for a life
Empty of ambition
Stifled without reason
By stupidity, by inertia

Inertia is a vice
Devoid of any smile
Where the sun cannot survive
In a heart in delirium

Cutting the bridges
Which connects to this madness
That denies life
And all its medallions

That was my secret
The ” stitches ” that were missing
The key needed
For happiness newly found

And, line by line
—————–
With my pencil
I recognize your face
While searching my village
And finding my home !