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My muse, that sweet delicious thing! 18th of March, 2013


my muse ©copyright2013owpp

my muse
©copyright2013owpp

My muse, that sweet delicious thing!
———————————————

I see candles dancing in the night
Floating to where there is delight
Glowing where there is no light
Where the stars shine so bright

Erasing, preventing our future mistakes
Pointing our fingers to our fate
Burning our minds to what is at stake
Chanting the old refrain of our faith

I see the love you spread as a blanket
The winds ululate through the chimneys
Hear the clamor of those you befret
The million particles you give entry

From dust to mountains, bright or dark
You inhale and exhale that spark
Pick up and shape the trodden
Mold or hibernate the fallen

You are the reason, the candle I see
The laughter bubbling in me
The slight tremor in my voice
The stars, the filler of my void

If you found the creation of these words
Understand, you and I merge
In the winds, the clamor, the particles…
The love that seeps through our tentacles

I have tried so desperately to explain
What is so simple, easy to claim
You are the echo of my emotions
The words and songs I had long forgotten

You are mine when you, decide
The place, the hour, entry and time
You holler into my sleep
Shake me, wake me out of the deep

You are my muse, inspiration
All in the right tradition
Never believed you existed until…
You appeared and popped out of the till

And now, when you go visit another’s imagination
I hail and shake your way back to my salvation
But you belong when I set you free
Let you roam the streets of destiny

Then, drop as a miracle unto my page
Filling the lines at the speed of lightening
Forgiving my jealousy or my rage
Caressing the story with drops of spring

My muse, my inspiration, that delicious thing!

But the clock goes on ticking
The time of reason
Showing mansuetude (1)
To the frames
Of consistency
The fringes of life
Burning the desire
Of the days filled
By your hors d’oeuvres
Awaiting the birth
Of your reality

Stop, quiet! I need some sleep
No, do not go… just lie in wait then take a peek
Whisper sweet little nothings to my muse
The one you allow ideas to fuse

Blow in her ear the feathers
Of where it begins
Keep her, alive and kicking,

That sweet delicious thing!

(1)man·sue·tude (mnsw-td, -tyd)
n.
Gentleness of manner; mildness.
[Middle English, from Old French, from Latin mnsutd, from mnsutus, past participle of mnsuscere, to tame : manus, hand; see man-2 in Indo-European roots + suscere, to accustom; see s(w)e- in Indo-European roots.]

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The past of a very dark day. Sep. 2012 ( Oa essay )


©copyright2013owpp

©copyright2013owpp

This is a article I should remember to read when my abstinence quivers or doubts.
Am I glad we don’t have many moments like these in our lives!
There is truly, nothing that tastes better than abstinence.

Dark moment
——————

People usually die once. I have died a few deaths and keep on doing so.
Occasionally, I come back to the living, but end it off, of my own accord.

Some have others torturing them. A partner, husband, friend, colleague… I am privileged. I have my own torturer. ME.
I destroy myself. I am my worst enemy. I attack myself, by stuffing my body with food I don’t even desire or savor. Always in search of some taste bud-thrill, that will entertain my pallet a while longer.
It is a food-rage. It kills my soul, bit by bit. I have gone a thousand times to hell and back. Now, nothing seems to bring me home. I am spiraling downwards and speed my fall by letting go of all the ropes. No relief in sight.
Pain is the only feeling that visits my solitude.
This “ now “ is not the companion I was looking for. I try to shake it off but it sticks to my ego, my famous ego. You know, the one that takes so much space, there is no room for beauty. Just trouble.
I have been told to let go of it and have tried but do not know how.
My journey could have been uneventful had I known the secret but, my ego has a long life or maybe seven lives, like the cats, is it not what they say?
So, I resign myself to my cycle of suffering and despair yet in the hope of getting another glance at a paradise I have lived and left in a nearly forgotten past…

The one that people call with a moan and a sigh… LIFE.